Unhappy.

A little while ago I had an outstanding conversation with someone who is becoming one of my very good friends. He and I spoke about relationships, where we are in our lives concerning the idea of having a new relationship, and our inability to be in one right now. Being hurt by someone you care about takes a toll on you and your outlook on love and life.  You  have to fight the battle of being able to trust again, and let your guard back down, because I don't know about anyone else, but I put up huge walls and only a select few get a window through them. 

So now I think of Marilyn Monroe (my idol) and her quote about being unhappy.  "It's better the be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone." This is something that has really stuck with me.  Why would you want to be in a relationship when you aren't ready, just to constantly be unhappy with someone? Or on the other side, why would you want to stay in a relationship with someone who makes you unhappy?  If you are going to be unhappy, starting a relationship won't fix anything...don't bring someone else down to your level. 

I love love, I love being in love, I love falling in love, I love everything that love has to offer. I cannon ball into relationships and love with everything I have to offer.  I give people the benefit of the doubt, even when everyone else does not, and I want to see only good in people. This makes me vulnerable and I have to continuously remind myself that a relationship isn't always the best choice...

...but is this me growing up and being mature, or becoming jaded about love?

I choose to believe the first.